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How can I be okay with being ugly? What is the bright side?

07.06.2025 00:46

How can I be okay with being ugly? What is the bright side?

Another thing to bear in mind is that compared to Unattractive Guys — you have quite an advantage in the singles scene. It comes with something potentially quite negative, if you’re emotionally sensitive, though. What am I talking about? You’re able to whimsically fool-around with those better looking than you, for things purposely just-casual. As with any gal. So you still are able to indulge in this once in a while to sow an oat or two. Gals take it for granted, guys get too jealous of the concept. :) Downside though is, if you’re naive and/or emotionally sensitive, notably when young, you can get a distorted picture that you ‘deserve’ better looking guys and using that mistakenly as your “measuring stick” as to what you can/could date, when that’s not the case. So you need to be aware of this. And to be fair — it goes the same for objective nice looking gals, too — being able to fool around with a Great looking guy and him not wanting to actually Date. Not to mention the guy doesn’t have to be better looking than the gal [you] for that to be the case sometimes — so when not in the mood to get into a Relationship with anyone at the time, mine as well step into the better looking options, right? :)

But I’ll give you the “benefit of the doubt” — let’s assume you’re not “good looking”, but you’re not ugly, but you are below-average looking by guys’ tastes. OK.

One positive about being below average looking, which is also shared by most average Janes, and by no means outweighs one being notably Pretty — is that you’re not going have other gals being jealous of you out of nowhere. Outside of social arenas where every gal expects it, you’re not going to have old dudes looking you up and down. Stuff like that. Again, it’s better to be Pretty, but those who noticeably aren’t pretty at least don’t get any of those side-effects — if all this is even worth mentioning. I mean, are we really going to say “Oh, poor you Hot Veronica — having men compliment you all the time where it can get annoying. Whoah is you, as that part’s the ONLY result of you being Really pretty!” lol

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Many gals who don’t stand out as a pretty woman but is above average looking, can ‘easily’ slip into being average looking. Just the same, a gal like you who’s not ugly, but is [allegedly] below average looking, can ‘easily’ slip into being average looking.

First, almost everyone on Quora here is going to give you “cheer up” advice that does not paint an accurate picture, and is inflated too-positively with inaccurate statements. But it’s something to try and make you feel better as it makes them feel better to say it + we know if you’re down and out on your own looks, whether you’re unattractive or attractive, it’s only going to hurt your results in the singles/dating arena anyway. It’s the type of lies we’re supposed to say. So if you’re asking this question to get reassurance — which you will certainly get, which may be why you asked this question — well, you have no right to get upset if someone’s to actually answer your question doesn’t have that as their motive, right? :)

One positive is at work in-person, if you do well and project yourself ideally in said workplace, you’ll be given full credit for it with nothing else getting in the way by others. Being even a step below an average Jane in looks, people aren’t inclined to make any assumptions that “because she’s a girl/woman”. There can be a bias that you must be “smarter” — as with guys who are notably non-attractive as well, who seem decent at their job. So this is something — not only are you more often to be put in the proper position that women want more of, but you’re going to evade the opposite of it.

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Knowing that over 95% of non-ugly but below-average looking gals can become an average Jane in looks without too much effort, as that’s the natural “center of gravity”, should give you peace of mind. Not to mention it may not be difficult for you to be Above average looking, if you wanted it enough. Like saying “Fvck it” and driving over to NY or Cali for said 6-month internship that’d be a great move, that feels like doing something too outside the norm — apply it to this. And you don’t even have to temporarily move instead of renewing your lease, FFS! :)

I say ‘easily’ but the motivation to do so may not be so easy. It’d be like saying “It’s easy to save some money this summer, so you can drive over across the country to take that 6 month job they’d like you for, that’s Great on your resume as it’s about the stuff that you do — and the lease on your apt is about to end anyway, with a place to stay to boot. Great timing!” It’s the motivation to save a few hundred bucks for the trip, and actually do this, which you naturally don’t want to do. But it IS easy as far as it being any “challenge”, outside motivation. There’s no puzzles here. There’s no crazy effort put into it. It’s just strongly against your comfort-zone, is all.

I doubt you’re actually Ugly. Ugly’s quite the strong word. I think it’s more like you’re “not good looking”. You could easily be a gal [as I see from your history] who has a low self esteem but just can’t get the cuter guys that your friends get, but at the end of the day, are kinda cute. You’re just self-critical and feel worse-looking due to your tastes in guys being as high as your cuter and/or more socially-fun gal-pals.

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So here we go, Sub-Par Looking Sally…. What are some upsides to it and how can you be OK with it?

In your case being 5′2″ — no, that’s not a negative in looks. Another reason why I doubt you’re close to ugly… as you’re jumping the gun on what even may count as unattractive - lol.